We certainly live in a sex-saturated society, but it is far from a sex-positive culture. Sexual energy is the most profound and powerful source of energy available to us, yet it has been deeply misunderstood, under-utilised and suppressed. Sex itself is often misused. Sexual healing is necessary to reclaim what is natural to us and what has gone missing.
When I look around me, I see two extremes of sexuality emphasized – pornography, or repression. I see most couples divorcing, and many others living together without much intimacy, affection and sex. I see women who have shut down sexually, given up, and I see a lot of women taking the masculine role in relationships, and men emasculated as a result. In our culture, sexuality is either denied or over exaggerated, but these are both symptomatic of the fact that the sexual life force energy - the energy that runs through every living thing in the universe - is being suppressed and wasted unconsciously.
Due in a large part to the role of religion in separating humanity from their sexual life force innocence, teaching us that our sexuality and experiences of bodily pleasure had to be denied for the good of our spiritual evolution. In fact, the opposite is true, that evolving means becoming integral, becoming whole, that’s what healing is. Taking our lives into our own hands. To be whole, we need to integrate all the different facets of ourselves, and sexuality is absolutely integral to this process. We are born of sex. We are fundamentally, undeniably sexual creatures. Sexual energy is the most powerful energy in the planet. Sexual energy runs our lives, whether we embrace it or not. We are powerful and healthy when we do embrace it. Magical even. We become creators of our lives.
As children, our developing natural sexual innocence may be blocked through messages of shame, and ‘don’t touch, don’t explore’ which we receive from our parents, education, religions and society, or just the general all pervading sense some of us grew up with, that sexuality didn’t really exist. As teenagers, usually the only sex education we receive is focused on disease and avoidance of pregnancy. In this society, the main messages we receive about sex are medical, religious, pornographic, and shallow. Far from the depth and richness offered to us from studying Sacred Sexuality teachings which are now easily available to us.
Sexual healing has three main aspects to it.
1. Releasing genital armouring so as to regain your capacity for pleasure and sensation.
2. Utilizing sexual energy to revitalize, rejuvenate, and heal the body and mind and to expand the energetic and ethereal bodies.
3. Healing dysfunctions between the sexes.
Sexual healing is really the art of a person learning how to expand sexually, feel more pleasure throughout their whole body, and learn more about what they are capable of sexually, far from the repetitive, numbing and desensitising model which the mainstream model ultimately is. There is a reason why most relationships fail and why most sexual relationships lose steam, and that is because men and women suffer from a lack of education and insight about the true potential and evolutionary function of sex. Sex lives ultimately become unfulfilling, especially for women, who have a deep seated intuition that there is more to sex than they have ever experienced, and so they give up and shut down. There is a lot that lies beyond the genital friction, peak orgasm model which is largely presented to us, but which keeps relationships from evolving.
Tantra and Sacred Sexuality is becoming more prevalent in the modern world, the balance is being addressed, but it’s still seen as something mysterious and intangible, perhaps spiritual and not material, but it’s not, it’s the most natural thing in the world. The art of Tantric Sex is the art of staying aware during sex. Aware. Not alert. When we let go of all hang ups, conditions and programs about sex and let the bodies respond as they would naturally, wonderful things result. Far from the tense thrusting approach of the mainstream model, when we relax every muscle, and cultivate a state of arousal through relaxation and letting energy flow and letting movements be slower and more conscious so that every nuance is felt, then energy moves in a different way, tensions and habits can be recognised and released, and new pathways can be explored which are deeply satisfying to men and women alike.
The true purpose of sex is to heal each other.