Kegal exercises are vaginal toning exercises, such as squeezing tightly, contracting, and pulling the vaginal floor up, often recommended to women as a necessary exercise we need to do to keep the vaginal muscles strong and toned. Particularly after childbirth or as a woman ages, different conditions such as incontinence or prolapses can commonly occur. It doesn’t have to be that way, it speaks of a society of women who haven't been nourishing their own vaginas. Doctors even report that when women don’t use their vaginas sexually they can literally atrophy. Sex is a healthy activity for the human body in more ways than one.
The problem with recommending Kegal exercises to women is that most western women have chronic tension in the muscles of their pelvic floor and vagina anyway. Tensing and contracting the muscles in an effort to strengthen them only results in more residual tension being created. Therefore, Kegal exercises are not recommended for women.
Rather than a tight and strong vagina, we
want to cultivate a relaxed and toned vagina instead which is capable of being strong when we want it to be, and relaxed otherwise.
The best ways to cultivate a relaxed and toned vagina are:
1. Have regular good quality sex.
Good quality sex is not friction based or even orgasm focused, although orgasms are fantastic they’re not essential for women to enjoy sex. (As most women report.) Anyway, Tantra teaches us the benefits of men and women relaxing into arousal rather than tensing in the pursuit of it: the more we relax through arousal rather than tensing, the more we experience valley orgasms, orgasms that ripple on and on expansively rather than peaking and falling like regular orgasms. Valley orgasms are relaxing and healing for tense vagina muscles. Nothing dearmours a woman like a loving penis attached to a conscious man who knows that the true purpose of sex is to heal, and who makes love accordingly with such awareness. It de-armours the walls of our vaginas and heals the tensions we store in there.
2. Have regular vaginal orgasms.
Overall I think valley orgasms, relaxed orgasms, are fantastic for women, but I also think that big vaginal orgasms are really good for us as well. Really a woman should be responsible for her own orgasmic pleasure, and not wait for her man to deliver earth shattering orgasms to her. She is better off taking care of this herself, cultivating self pleasure as a self loving and nourishing part of her life. A clitoral orgasm is fun, but vaginal orgasms are even more fun. Far more rejuvenating, much more inward and revelatory. All women are capable of having deeply satisfying vaginal orgasms, but not all women try. Penises are not typically the best way of getting there, anatomically they just don’t usually press against the g-spot with the amount of pressure needed to come.
When self pleasuring, a woman could also insert a glass or a crystal wand into her vagina, and not rely on the superficial external clitoral orgasm. Internal vibrators aren’t necessary or even good, they could result in more armouring and tension of the vagina. But a glass or a crystal wand can be used to push and hold into the vaginal walls, and to release tensions found. You can use your fingers as well, fingers are better, but the wands are useful for easier reach, and reaching in a more relaxed posture, and I would say for pleasure too. You can press into your g-spot or a-spot, with them and facilitate big internal orgasms for yourself. Any woman who is still self pleasuring simply with clitoral stimulation is doing herself a disservice by not discovering her deeper pleasures which lie within the vagina.
There is a part of the anterior vaginal wall just above the cervix which is as pleasurable if not more pleasurable than the G-spot. This is the so called A-spot. Pushing hard into this place can feel numb, or even painful, however, it is possible for it to feel extremely pleasurable. If its numb or painful, this indicates that it is holding tension. With practice you can restore the pleasure. It’s so worth it. Simply hold the point of tension with your wand until you feel a release. Repeat often. :)
You can have amazing peak orgasms by pressing into your g-spot and the soft tissues of the vagina, or you can practice relaxing and breathing through your internal exploration with your glass or crystal wand. I think it's great for women to explore both sides, peak orgasms and relaxing through orgasm and to get to know themselves and their potential as intimately as possible.
3. Give your vagina light squeezes throughout the day, not the fist clenching sort recommended for Kegals. Most importantly, practice relaxing your vagina. To relax your yoni, push down as though you are about to urinate and breathe into that expansive space.
4. Wear a jade egg. Just wearing one inside you for about half an hour each day has restorative effects on the vagina and on your libido. You can also squeeze it and contract at times around it. Overall it will bring more tone and relaxation to your vagina, not tension. You will notice an increase in pleasurable sensations within the vagina as well. There are plenty of jade egg videos on you tube if you want to learn some exercises, but just wearing one inside is recommended in and of itself. Or you can dance, belly dance, massage your breasts, hum, sing, or do some yoga poses while wearing it. Massaging your breasts sends wonderful energy to your yoni, and is a powerful practice for getting more in touch with your feminine essence and exploring the relationship between your heart and your yoni.
5. Go to a professional and get a yoni massage. Many women are more comfortable seeing women practitioners, and this can be recommended to ensure that there is no exchange of unwanted energy from the male practitioner.
6. Practice deep rest. When we lie down flat on our backs on the ground, and raise our knees so that our legs are bent and our feet flat on the floor, then we are in the pose of deep rest, which is the only time that our psoas muscle is actually relaxed. We should assume this posture as often as possible. Daily. This relaxes the psoas which is a large muscle which connects the lower vertebrae of the spine to our abdominal core, pelvis and thigh bone, which is so important for a relaxed body and mind, and a tense psoas will contribute to a tense vagina. Squatting is also excellent for vaginal tone and releasing chronic muscular tensions around the pelvic area.
